Supermarket bar, pool parties
Bloody Nora.
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As I published last week’s blog, I found myself in the most annoying and embarrassing situation I’ve been in for a while. **Trigger warning I’m talking about periods** Ugh, I stupidly purchased some period pants, designed to withstand and hold in the monthly bleed. I was sooo skeptical, of course they bloody can’t. If they could, why has it taken them so long to get into the market? Anyway, to cut a long story short, I came on Sunday, I gave the pants a challenge - show us what you got. I put on my gorgeous wide legged jeans (Jeans! Still baking hot but I had a new top that I wanted to wear with them) Jeez, anyway, off we set to the local bar, along the way I tell Az I’m not wearing my menstrual cup and I’m trusting the pants - we’re still TMI kids. Hold on. His suspicion and questioning was bang on, why had I done this to myself? I couldn’t feel myself leaking, I’ll give it time, and anyway, I’ll be sat at the bar. Get to the pub, order a beer and talk to our new friend there. Sat down and forget all about it, until I go to the loo. Let’s just say, it was a crime scene in my jeans and no tampon machine to wrestle with, I curse myself and wonder WTF I’m to do - my jeans are high waisted so fortunately as I gingerly walk out (scuttling like a crab) I ask Az if you can see it, he says no. At this point, there’s nowt I can do but sit down and continue enjoying my beer. Az takes a call and is gone for a while, when he returns he shoves something bulky and plastic in my pocket - the beautiful bugger got me a pack of panty liners. I COULD EAT HIM and feel so lucky to have a thoughtful husband (though the panty liners were barely a whisper, a 90s sanitary towel would have been better but hey ho)
The stain took two washes and overnight soak in milk to get rid off. Period pants are PANTS.
Monday
When we first got here, we signed up for free local classes, one at a gym. If I’d have known how many times they would call, email, text I’d have never got involved. I’ve never had a stalker but this was close! At the very start of this one sided relationship, the lady at the gym (lets call her Chelsea) has left me the most enthusiastic voicemail I may have ever heard (even beating my own voicemails I used to leave when I went clubbing to listen to on Monday morning) At first Chelsea was off the charts - this woman sounded like she had dangerous levels of serotonin for breakfast with the flavour of an army drill. Very intense. Over the course of two weeks, the communication increased to the point of me raging at my phone “She’s called AGAIN”? Not getting anywhere fast, she rang the other day and she sounded resigned to the fact it probably wasn’t happening “Hi Sammy, this is Chelsea, give us a call if you want to sign up for a class”. I think the poor cow has given up by now.
Our local supermarket, Harry Teeters, America's version of Waitrose but if you can imagine, add on another 30% to the cost. The prices in there make you physically wince and pull a face, HOW MUCH FOR AN AVOCADO. Makes Waitrose look like Aldi. All’s forgiven Waitrose!
What I will say about Harry’s is that, rightly or wrongly, there is a bar in there, think a poor man’s Selfridges bar, more down to earth and unlike Selfridges, do weekly specials, $4 for local drafts, $4 wines, yada yada. Az and I decided that Monday night was the goer for this supermarket experience. We pulled up our chairs and made small talk with the barman and the people sat at the bar, it was great! Two craft beers each later and all plans for a healthy dinner had gone out the window, we needed a beige dinner that resembled chicken dippers and potato products ASAP. As we headed outside, it was torrential rain (as you see in American films) and well, fark that, we’d get soaked! So we did what any normal person would do, went back inside for a nightcap.
Tuesday
Is there anything more terrifying coming from the UK to America and trying to suss out the health insurance? Well yes, there are much more terrifying things! But my pronouns identify as an anxious wreck - health anxiety I absolutely excel at. It should be on my CV. I am first class in catastrophizing absolutely everything in my body - if I have sudden headaches, I’ve got a brain tumour, if I have a tummy twinge FUCK ITS APENDICITIS. I’ve been taken to AnE more than I’d care to admit, exhausting my husband and well, further fuelling my anxiety. Anyway, we’ve got health insurance, but it's so complicated. And it's going to cost at least $230 to go see a doctor. This might be good for me, might cut down on the trips haha. My new friend told me that whatever happens, try not to go to AnE if you can help it, it’ll make you broke. It’s a low level fear that I’m trying to squash away. All hail the NHS. My doctor back home was fantastic.
Wednesday
Our coffee machine arrived and I’ve never been happier. My first cup of coffee is my favourite part of the day, the ritual, the sound of it brewing. And then the caffeine. SHAMONE!
We’re still waiting for a shipment to arrive from the UK. I'm getting really impatient with our kitchen items, tupperware, Nutribullet, more than 2 forks and 2 knives, and they are both rubbish! Also, my anxiety medication is also rather important and foolishly only packed 2 months worth, what a pillock. I can sense a Drs appointment brewing….. $230!! It’s tempting to go mad instead…. Or cheaper to fly home?
Thursday
We went out with our new local friends again, to a local SURPRISE Brewery - it was nice to see a much more mixed bag of ages, not just tweens. I was pumped to eat one of their wood-fired Neapolitan Pizzas, shame that most of it was burnt, the unburnt bits were delish.
There is a guy that drives around Charlotte with extremely loud 70s and 80s soul music, at first I couldn’t be anything other than offended as my ears took a battering. But if you hear a tune loudly (and it's always a tune, the guy has great taste) then you know matey’s coming down the road, it makes me smile. I want to speak to this guy, I bet he’s got some stories.
After we leave the brewery we head to a bar that has Moose heads and Christmas lights on the wall. We order chicken wings and I wonder if Clint Eastwood is going to bust the door at any minute.
Friday
I met my new friend, let’s call her Martina, at a coffee shop 15 minutes walk away. Last and only time we met we were both in active wear and wearing sunnies. I hope I recognise her, as I walk in I see her straight away. We settle down at a table and all thoughts of ‘what will we talk about’ melt away, there is no stone left unturned. Short of me telling her my bra size, we’re fully acquainted and have that magical moment where you know you’ve met someone who will be in your life. It’s a really welcoming feeling and makes me feel like I’m building a solid foundation. She also lives locally and tells me that she has a hot tub and that we’ll have to meet soon for more chats and a Rose in her garden. I walk home feeling hopeful and with so much gratitude. Friends are so important.
Saturday
Wake up early and go to the gym, I’m not a gym person but we have it and therefore if I want to continue my mission to be Sarah Connor in Terminator 2 then, well I have to crack on.
There is an ‘end of summer’ pool party where we live. I’m not feeling hopeful I shall make new friends, because of the interactions I’ve experienced, I’ve been in the lifts before and no one says anything, it’s a bit strange. But not one to be silenced! I don my bikini, my 100% polyester jumpsuit ( it's so cute tho) and head on over at 1pm. Az doesn’t want to join so I walk in alone, grab a Vodka Seltzer and a hotdog and try and find seating that isn’t in the sun. I look around to see if there are chairs near people that I can attempt to talk with, but no, just everyone doing their own thing, looking at their phones and talking within their groups. I am partly tempted to go sit and bust a big group of guys and see their reactions but I can’t be arsed. I sit on my own and try and drown out the noise that the kids call music these days. I feel like I’m in American Pie. They finally play one tune that doesn’t make my ears bleed. Opposite to where I am sitting in the mens toilets - a guy comes out and asks me if I can keep an eye out for others because there is no lock on the door. Great! I look like a bouncer, this party just stepped up a notch. Perhaps its my look I’ve gone for?
I sit for a further 30 minutes observing my neighbors. Bless them, mostly in their 20s, talking loudly and animatedly, I couldn’t feel further away from their life stage. I want to tell them to absorb it as much as you can, because soon you’ll end up like me, sitting alone by the toilets! All I want is to head home, enjoy a cup of tea, eat a Snickers bar and have a nap and I couldn’t be happier.
We head out for the evening, and go to a fancy bar that has a gorgeous outdoor area and a pond with fish in and everythin. We ordered a cheese and charcuterie board. It has the smallest portion of cheese and meats and is mostly Nuts, Apples and Olives. It’s clearly a place where women love to come with their friends. We walked to another Cocktail place and sit at the bar. The barman is really friendly and this you sense isn’t just for tip, he takes a genuine interest in us and it's nice to be exchanging with a curious American! I ask if they have any jobs. Only bartending, I'm way too easily confused to be making cocktails. They’d be bust within a week, though I’d be terribly charming and adorable? You can’t have it all.
I really miss my family. I Facetime my mum and she’s sat in her chair telling me all the same stories I’ve heard a 1000 times but this time over video. I’m grateful we can video but I’d love to be giving her a cuddle and to smell her neck.
Thanks for reading and have a great week!