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Welcome one and all, and especially to my new subscribers - yikes, BLUSH. I still want to hide under the table when I get new followers, but sail we must. I’m just a woman, from the UK, currently nesting in North Carolina, asking you nothing but your complete obsession. If you like my work, please stick a heart at the end of the article. It’s simple but keeps me warm and fuzzy and spurs me on.

Lord above - is there more a confusing, destabilising time than the period from Christmas to New Year? I’ve lost my mind (like most of us) and have spent all week doing nothing other than (and in this order) staring into the fridge aimlessly - I’m not even hungry but whatevs, napping, eating more beige food, and wasting hours surfing the TV channels, also the flirting has gone out the window with alcohol, its now full fat, fully dysfunctional and terrifying heights of indulgence. John Lennon once said “The time you enjoy wasting, is not wasted time” but questioning your unit intake, feeling slovenly and mildly claustrophobic aren’t ideal resting qualities are they? Today I decided to email Cadbury Roses about their obvious decline in the quality of their chocolate. What was once creamy milk chocolate now tastes like dry cardboard and well, as a woman of the world, I shall very well tell them. Since I’ve got time and all. Frustratingly we’ve got a box of them which I shall eat and curse every last one of them. My boredom knows no bounds, I then decide to surf the news and spy that an actress who’s been in a show for 50 years is doing her final scene, I used to watch it when I was tween so I should give the poor cow 2 minutes of my attention span since I’ve got it like. Surprisingly I don’t feel like I should put my head in the oven just yet. Note to self: Must get a life though. I’m back to work tomorrow and thank goodness. I need to talk to someone else who isn’t my husband or bartender - ugh BARMAN! Taxi!

I’ve started my new job and it’s lovely to be back in my new office with new faces, there are hugs all around and once the fellas come in - fist pumps. I feel cool followed by warm and wholesome, like Oatmeal cookies. I drink two cups of coffee whilst waiting for my steer from the boss. I’m then given my Mac and phone - our company works on behalf of charities and I’ve got to start calling local businesses to ask permission if we can set up a camp outside in the walkways - I’m now regretting those two coffees on top of my nerves - I feel more loaded than a Korean bunker and I know its trial and error - I’ll have to bugger it up to learn, there’s no getting around it, bless my heart. Take the plunge! Feet first. My heart is jumping out of my chest and my organic deodorant alerts me “Christ it's a code red down here” I’m hoping since I’m sporting an accent it’ll be a beautiful green light - Yes of course they’ll say, come in, we’ll bring you a coffee! I’m mumbling to the poor person listening and whilst staring at the script I’m going completely off-piste, my accent sounds clunky and OTT and once I’ve gotten to the end of this pitiful performance ask them if they’d like to help us, the lady has heard enough and I can hear her roll her eyes, politely but firmly she says “We understand but we’re not interested, goodbye” I said “bye bye” which I would never say in real life, I’m going Mary Poppins again. I’m so happy the call’s over I feel it’s time to celebrate with a toilet break and a stern word with myself not to spiral and it is after all a numbers game.

I get through 12 companies, 1 says YES - he may as well have said I’d won $15mill on the lottery, the poor soul on the other end must think this English bird is off her tits. The thing is, I am, if you work in sales - getting a yes is akin to scoring a goal against Germany in the World Cup. Where was I? I tell my boss the good news, I head home with the sun shining and think to myself, is this really me? Can I do this? Time will tell.

Me and Az decide to celebrate this new glittering career triumph by guess what? GOING OUT. I feel so sorry for us, even Az who is shy and anxious about new people would chew the ear off anyone who’ll look his way (I’ve taught him well) but it kills me, I want him to have his own friends, his own chats, he’s asking me my opinions about his painting hobby and whilst it is interesting and creative, it’s not me he wants the opinion of. I want to hear him with another nerd going into the most minute details and intricacies of their craft and I roll my eyes and love him extra hard - but we’re each other’s sounding boards and for now, we just have to bore the arse out of each other over and over again. He’s the easiest person to love so don’t feel sorry for me. He’s also a mega dish so at least there’s no grimacing.

NYE - the most rubbish night of all time, let’s face it. I hate hate hate it. I don’t need any encouragement for my nostalgia to run a muck, I look back more than I look forward. NYE makes me feel that time is slipping away “another year gone!” and to be honest it is like that over the age of 30, blink and it’s another birthday which you’re confused about - joy in some sense that you’ve survived another year but low-level panic that well, you’re older! eek. Since Az and I have been out since Christmas Eve, and I’ve got a cold, I don’t feel like going out and ‘marking the night’ Luckily he doesn’t either, we get into bed at 830, neck a Hot Toddie and pray we’ll sleep through the drunkards outside. Such fun!

We don’t - they are everywhere. How very dare they on NYE. Yelping, screeching, god drunk people are annoying. I wish I knew, I’ve never been drunk. Not once. Ever.

I started the year off writing a reflective (see, looking back again) on 2024 and what happened - I like to do this as it’s a lovely thing to be reminded of what you did and who you spent time with. I write what I hope for in 2025 and it’s more of everything!

- More fun that isn’t alcohol (I like beer, but what moved me as a kid?)

- More getting out of my comfort zone (a move across the world is so 2024)

- More books (my favourite hobby of all time)

- More earrings (from places I’ve visited as a nice souvenir)

- More lipsticks (red is my go-to but try other colours)

- More confidence (quiet confidence, feel the fear and do it anyway)

- More creativity (create create create)

- More writing (Enjoy the process and don’t pull myself apart)

(and more friends would be lush)

Iconic

I wish I could tell you I’m going dry January but that’s for the people that perhaps have friends and their community around them. How on earth, especially as Brits, are we meant to go out, make friends and not drink? Don’t be cruel. We are in a foreign land.

I have a strong urge to leave you this song - Queen/Freddie Mercury - Days of our lives - it was his last song before he died. My favourite thing ever is to read the comments on YouTube. It never fails to reassure me of the humility in this world.

From me to you - thank you - and here’s to us in 2025 wherever it may take us.